third

Farewell My EPIC Friend

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April 3, 2008

The picture above was taken on my birthday in 2006, Bobby and Caiti took the day off of work so they could go snowboarding with me. It meant the world to me and I love them so much for that day .Note about this post: My best friend Robert Allinson (EPIC) died April 1st 2008, this was my way of dealing with it, you can view hack3r.com for many many more kind words about an amazing person.

I want to write to you Robert, I want to tell you I'm sorry for ignoring your last message, I did not mean to, I was tired and wanted to sleep. But knowing as I do now it was your last message to me.. I feel deep sorrow for not getting up from bed, going to my computer and seeing what you created with your servers. But I didn't respond, I didn't come see it, and I will forever regret it.

April 1st, It was a day like any other day, I went to work, I went to lunch with Doug. I had Kung Pow Chicken, knowing this was your favorite food I just had to send you a text message to rub it in. I sent you "Kung pow mmmmm" I wanted to hear you be jealous and say I hate you for having your favorite food without you. A few minutes passed I looked down at my phone.. No reply.. I figured ahh he is just busy.

I went home, boring normal day... I was so bored i went to go buy some old dvd's at Circuit City. I was picking up a pile of old movies when kyle called me to tell me.. "George, Jen told me Bobby passed away.." Suddenly the dvd's in my hands became meaningless, I dropped them where I stood.. I forgot everything I was doing, I listened intently, closely, vividly to our friend Kyle. After a few words more... the thought of it being a joke drifted away. Reality set in and the void opened up inside me.

I hung up the phone, I could barely control the force welling up inside, i got in my car and just said "breathe.. BREATHE" Started driving knowing the pain i kept saying to myself "You can make it home, you can make it, you can make it..." I made it home, and I knew exactly where I had to go.

I walked up the sidewalk to Ryan's house.. Knocked on the door, told him the news.. the shock and the disbelief continued. I called Darin, he knew exactly what I felt, without even questioning without even a second thought he said "Where are you? ill be right there."

You might think it humorous, but after verifying the news you were really gone, the reality, the sorrow. We had a group hug. We called Liz, she came right over. We chatted a bit, it was surreal.

Since that day I am lost. I don't know what to do, what to say, I can't remember where I'm going, what I'm doing from one minute to the next. Everything inside me is broken nothing works. I don't know what to do.

You weren't supposed to do this to us, this wasn't supposed to happen. We need you.

I cry until I'm exhausted, I regain strength and I loose it again.

I don't have words to tell you, to say how much all of the memories we had together mean to me, how much you mean to me, how lost I will be without you. I can just say "Thank you". You were a friend when no one else was, you were a friend when things were bad, you were a friend when things were good. You went out of your way to help me.

I will miss your text messages, how you would send me a lyric to a song, and i would fill in the next verse, how you would wake me up with some funny message. I will miss our conversations on vent, on email, and on messenger. I will miss our lunches together, our crazy conversations, our brainstorming sessions. I will miss everything.

My brother and I always considered you more than a friend, you were OUR brother, OUR family. We love you so much words cannot express.

I could write much much more, but I'm betting you would just respond with "TLDR" meaning Too Long Didn't Read. So I will keep it as short as this and say...

Farewell Robert.. My brother.. My friend.. I will see you again... but not yet... Not yet!

Related tags: EPIC, Phr0st

Jeff Knight

so sorry George,

I am sorry to hear about Bobby's passing.

I will keep you in my prayers.

jeff (cedar)

Padi

/hug You made me cry again!! Damn you Suri! Much love!

Geo

Thank you Jeff it means a lot to me.

Thank you Padime, sorry to make you cry. /comfort

LaLo

You made me cry too!!! Thank you for being the loving, caring person that you are. I'm sure that Bobby would agree that you should always stay that way! That's the way we like you! Stay strong - this too shall pass in some good way although we don't know how right now! We are always here for you - remember to be in the stillness and KNOW!

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